Is it normal for losing your virginity to hurt

For others, especially those in the LGBTQ community, engaging in other types of sex including oral sex or anal sex would also equate to losing your virginity. All this makes the idea of virginity deeply personal — it's up to you to define it for yourself, and there is no wrong definition.

Most importantly, the concept of virginity is a social construct. First time sex is different for everyone, particularly because sex can mean so many different things. Others may notice more emotional changes rather than physical.

They may feel closer to their partner, or more grown up. Or dancing unicorns. Or everyone else magically knowing, even though it may seem like they will. One thing to be aware of, however, is that losing your virginity with your partner may introduce a new dynamic into your relationship.

Having sex without protection, even for the first time, can lead to sexually transmitted infections. STIs are preventable, which is why practicing safe sex is so important. This means not being embarrassed about buying condoms, getting tested, or talking to your partner about their sexual history. For non-penetrative sex, things like dental dams or gloves can increase safety.

Jenny M. That's why condoms are the first step in safeguarding your health. Jaque suggests talking with your doctor about additional birth control options.

Your doctor will help you choose the right one for you based on your medical history, the kinds of periods you have for example, certain birth control methods can help make them less painful or heavy , and your life if your schedule makes it hard to take a pill at the same time every day, that's probably not your best option. Topics could include practicing safe sex; signs, symptoms and prevention of STIs; contraception; and what to expect in terms of whether losing your virginity is painful.

For most people, this is mild and typically only lasts for a few times, according to Planned Parenthood. The best way to prevent pain during penetrative sex is to use plenty of lube made from natural ingredients to prevent irritation. When it comes to losing your virginity, there's plenty to talk about beyond safety.

Here, 24 people share the candid truth about their sexual experiences, including what they wish they'd known before having sex for the first time. I told my freshman year roommate that I felt embarrassed about that, and she told me it was pretty tough, and she had never finished at the same time as her boyfriend.

I was the one feeling uncomfortable with my virginity, not the person I was sleeping with. Don't be scared, just be honest and it'll be fine. It is very rare to get pregnant from anal sex, but there is a small chance. We explore anal sex and pregnancy and bust some myths about preventing…. Can you get pregnant from swallowing sperm? Read on to discover why oral sex is very unlikely to result in pregnancy.

Also, learn the truth behind…. The vagina usually produces natural lubrication to stay healthy and facilitate sexual activity. When this is not enough, artificial lubricants or…. Tips for making sexual encounters less painful. Tips for vaginal sex. Tips for anal sex. Tips for oral sex. Tips for manual stimulation. General tips for safer sex. Exposure to air pollutants may amplify risk for depression in healthy individuals.

There are a number of contraceptive options available for you if you want to avoid pregnancy. These include:. Sometimes, pain during sex is caused by an underlying condition.

Certain issues can make genital stimulation or penetration uncomfortable. When you take certain precautions, you can reduce your discomfort and have pain-free, pleasurable, and enjoyable sex. Using a condom or other barrier method to help protect against STIs — and potentially pregnancy — can also help set your mind at ease.

We created an LGBTQIA safer sex guide that understands the true complexity and diversity across gender identities, sexual orientation, attractions…. Condoms are one of the most effective ways to prevent pregnancy and protect against sexually transmitted infections. The risks you and your partner face depend on when the condom broke and the type of intercourse you were having.

There are steps you can take to…. Learn about emergency contraception, including what to do and what to expect afterward. This chart can help you find the right fit for…. As more couples explore anal sex, understanding the risks, rewards, and proper strategy is important. Here's what you need to know about safety and…. Before, during, or after — Use lube anytime during sex.

But some lubes are better than others, depending on your style. Learn which type is right for…. That said, we…. If you suspect your hymen might fall into these categories, take a look with a mirror, the same way you might have done around puberty. Check if the opening looks abnormally small or if you see a thin piece of skin across the center.

These can be corrected by minor surgeries and are not serious. When the hymen first ruptures, it usually hurts, but not always. If the rupture is caused by exercise, tampon usage, or colposcopy a medical procedure , there may be some pain afterward as well. For someone who experienced no prior penetration of any sort, you may be more likely to experience pain.

These muscles are used for a variety of different bodily movements. One such example is helping you hold in or release urine. Like other muscles in your body, your pelvic floor muscles can be sore the first time you use them in a new way. Like any other muscle in the body, these must adapt and strengthen to get used to the new activity. Think of it in terms of an exercise routine — for someone who has not performed a strenuous workout in a while or ever , the muscles they use will become sore the next day.

As one continues a routine to strengthen these muscles, the pain will decrease. As the pelvic floor muscles become used to penetrative sex, they will eventually be able to accommodate a penis or object comfortably. If you are concerned you might have a painful virginity loss or have already experienced such, consider exercising the pelvic floor muscles yourself with one or two fingers or with dilators.

Many women find these methods more comfortable, as they can exercise the muscles at their own pace. When doing so, it is helpful to be in a state of arousal and have proper lubrication as this prepares the muscles to be used in the way you want them to be.

Vaginismus is a general tightening of the pelvic floor muscles upon penetration. Vulvodynia is a pain in the outer area of the female genitals, such as the clitoris, labia, or near the vaginal opening. Other types of pain you may experience are a burning sensation, piercing or dull pain, tenderness or sensitivity, or muscle spasming.

For example, some people carry their stress in their pelvic floor, leading to painful sex. Experiencing high levels of anxiety or low moods such as depression can also impact your muscular response to sexual intercourse. Another cause of GPPPD is related to the new way the muscles are being used that we discussed above in reference to the pelvic floor.

Here we would recommend reaching out to a specialized pelvic floor physical therapist to rule out physical issues. If pain continues, there are other possible reasons. Most commonly, vaginal pain is due to a lack of lubrication.

Consider asking your partner to engage in more foreplay before sex to allow more time for lubrication to occur. Spit is a great natural lubricant. Another option is to use artificial lubricants, which are widely available at major retail stores, your local pharmacy, or even online. Be sure to stay away from oil-based lubricants if you are using a condom, as the lubricant may weaken the integrity of the condom. Pain during sex may also have an emotional cause. However, pain may also be linked to more persistent anxiety or fear.

Ask yourself if you are completely comfortable with your partner. If you believe you might have anxiety regarding sexual activity itself, therapy can help you work through these feelings.

Therapy is also helpful in overcoming various pain disorders that can affect women of all ages and all levels of sexual experience. There are various exercises you can try to prepare the pelvic floor muscles for sexual activity. Kegel exercises work the muscles controlling the vaginal walls, uterus, bladder, and rectum.

Kegel exercises involve the same muscles you use to urinate, so next time you do so, it might be helpful to note how you control these muscles. However, you should be sure not to perform Kegels while urinating, as doing this habitually can cause urinary tract infections. To perform a Kegel exercise, start by orienting yourself into a comfortable position — sitting or lying down will probably be most comfortable.

Make sure to breathe naturally throughout the exercise — do not hold your breath. Next, you will want to tighten your pelvic floor muscles and hold for about 10 seconds, and then relax for 10 seconds. If you cannot tighten the muscles for 10 seconds, start with a few fewer seconds and try working your way up to To prepare these muscles for penetration, the next step to this exercise is to perform the Kegels while some type of penetration is occurring, such as with dilators or fingers.

A suggested time frame for penetrative Kegels is as follows:. These are considered reverse Kegels because they focus solely on the relaxation portion of pelvic floor muscle exercises.

Kegels, however, strengthen both the tightening and relaxing of these muscles. In some women, pelvic floor muscles may be particularly tense, so exercises focusing solely on the relaxation aspect may be the most beneficial. Another difference of pelvic floor drops involves visualization example mentioned below. To perform a pelvic floor drop:. When taking a deep breath, the abdominopelvic cavity enlarges while the pelvic floor muscles elongate.

This exercise helps with pelvic pain because it trains the pelvic floor muscles to both stretch and relax.

To correctly perform diaphragmatic breathing, follow these steps:. Painful virginity loss and pain in early sex are common occurrences among women. Despite their frequency, there are many techniques targeting various causes of genito-pelvic pain and making sex less painful.

Sometimes the solution is as simple as adding lubrication, trying different positions, gently stretching the hymen, or assuring you are comfortable with your partner. In other cases, mild surgeries to correct abnormal hymens could solve your pain quite easily. If none of these prove helpful, routine exercises such as those explained above are an accessible way for women to treat their own pelvic pain in the comfort of their own homes.

If the problem persists and sex is painful every time you try, be sure to see a doctor for medical advice. However, speaking to a professional therapist about your specific experiences with pain also has many benefits. Talk to us today at to set up your appointment.

Read more about the female genital anatomy. I think you are missing another cause: A partner with a large penis. But I could see how it might for some women, especially if they have other issues on top of this such as abnormal hymen.

Lubrication is a definite key factor and adequate lubrication cannot be emphasized enough. This was my experience. There was some pain with penetration for the first time and then some discomfort throughout, but more pleasure than pain. This was also my experience: I felt fine directly afterwards, but by the next day I had significant swelling and tenderness. This resolved within 3 days. One additional note: because my partner and I were in a long term monogamous relationship and I was on birth control which allowed us to both be more relaxed we did not use condoms which is, of course, risky outside of a monogamous relationship.

Any question or concern about persistent pain or irritation or discharge or any other symptoms should be discussed with your doctor. As the author noted, for women, pain at first intercourse cannot always be avoided but it can usually be minimized and pain does not prevent the experience of pleasure.